Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Hold Onto Your Hats, I'm Going Spiritual

I was slaving away on my treadmill this morning, prepping for my race on Saturday.  I didn't run yesterday.  Laziness got the better of me.  And guess what?  Yesterday I felt like dung all day.  Today I was determined to run, despite being home alone with 4 children who can't be trusted farther than I'd like to throw them sometimes.  After I got into my groove on the treadmill, I looked down at my speed.  I was comfortably going at a speed that a week ago would have left me breathless.  I got a big grin on my face and pushed the speed up higher.  Then a euphoria hit.  My grin got bigger and the thought occurred to me that I'm smiling and happy not just because something that was once hard isn't anymore, it was because I wasn't beat today by laziness.  And then another thought occurred to me. (I know!  Two whole thoughts during a run?  How does she do it?!)  I realized that the Adversary doesn't want me to run.  At that thought I laughed out loud.  Why would Satan care whether I ran or not?  Isn't he supposed to be focused on getting me to damn myself?   But I kept having the strong feeling that he is trying to keep me from running. 

Running is a major source of happiness for me.  I've described in past posts that I feel closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior when I run, especially outdoors.  Running gives me confidence to face other challenges.  Basically, running has a whole lot going for it that Satan is adamantly against.  And then another thought came to me.  He doesn't want me not to run because of an injury or weather restrictions, he wants me to give up on running because of laziness.  That would be the ultimate defeat because it would be my own decision.  An injury kind of makes the decision for you.  If you care about your body and a full recovery, an injury requires you to stop running for a while.  Severe weather that could be dangerous to run in also makes the decision for you.  But laziness?  Laziness is a choice made by you and only you.  And he wants me to make that choice. 

Here's how the process would go:  Knowing that I chose to be lazy over choosing to run would have a pretty negative effect on my self confidence and self-esteem.  Low self-esteem tends to lead to other bad choices in a futile effort to regain my self-esteem.  Bad choices lead me farther and farther from God and His influence and happiness starts to seem like a distant memory. 

I know, I know.  Running is not my only source of happiness.  Family, my job, my church calling, friends.  These all add to my happiness as well, but all in different ways.  The joy that I feel from conquering my own body only comes from running.  I need that to be part of the equation. 

And without running, I doubt I would have thoughts like these.  Thoughts that better help me to understand my relationship to eternity and everything it encompasses.

So down with laziness and thoughts of "I just can't do this today"!!    Hold onto the choice to be happy and never let go.

Happy Running!!

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